With a Roof over her Head

Homelessness is a big problem in America and all over the world for that matter; thousands of Andrea2people sleep in the streets of this country every night, the lucky ones have a car where they can “crash” for the night. Others make it to shelters and family’s spare rooms, which although temporary, are a much better choice than the cold sidewalk.

Mostly for  women, it is a rough world out there, and the physically weakest have the hardest time. We have come a long way since the sexual revolution, but still we, as women, are at disadvantage when in the “outskirts” of society. It is cold and rough, you eat on the run when you have food, or not eat. Soup kitchens and homeless shelters, a respite that is not a solution, just a temporary patch till the next opportunity arises.

It is also a very unforgiving world; it is not easy to come out of the street, to get a job, a permanent place and stability. Not having an address, a place to take a shower, proper clothes makes it difficult to present yourself to an interview; depression, misery and mental illness settles in; imperceptive at first, making head pretty soon, taking the best out of that person, getting the hope and the drive to thrive, to live.

Being homeless is a hard place to be, and a place from where not too many people come out. It is a hole and a trap; it is a nightmare that seems too far away, yet it is at our doorstep.

In the times that we live in no one of us is exempt from the thought “will I ever be homeless” as most of American households live a paycheck away from poverty. A sword over our heads that is always present but always ignored. We still think that it will not happen to us, we work hard, we have a family, we are decent people. But that has nothing to do with how we may end up. Life if full of surprises and it isn’t always fair, and we find ourselves in a bind. We find that we don’t have a place to call ours, ready food or money to procure it all, we find that we are in a place we didn’t plan to be, we have miss-stepped. We are in trouble, and what we have left is the street and the cold nights, the uncertainty and the despair. Lacking belonging and roots is emotionally distressful and not having a place to call home is very disorienting, throws us off our comfort zone, makes it a deeper hole than it was to being with. People that are homeless have a really hard time getting back in to mainstream society, almost impossible if we are to trust statistics

But some people do it; some people have a strike of bad luck and are able to get back on their feet. I have been talking a lot with survivors of different trauma, and I am getting to the conclusion that we all have it in ourselves, that we are all survivors. The difference between those who make it and those that stay in the side of the road is the knowledge that one can, that the wisdom and strength reside right in our own heart

Making stepping-stones and opportunities out of discouragement and failure is the life of a true warrior, a life that is worth living. Andrea, a young woman knows what I am talking about. Andrea was homeless as a teenager and suffered separation from her loved ones while the situation was sorted out. She had to move from her home state and live at a relative’s place while her mother got things resolved. But Andrea wasn’t just waiting for things to get better; she was feeling, wishing and working towards a better future. While still in school she got a guitar and started playing; today she has helped her family to come out of the streets and be reunited, she is an independent young woman, with a bright future ahead of herself and lots of dreams.

Please join us Tuesday November 26 at * PM PST to welcome this young warrior with the voice of an angel http://www.blogtalkradio.com/becausewomenareamazing/2013/11/27/with-a-song-over-her-head

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Domestic Violence Awareness

We live in turbulent times, but this is not a new thing. Women have been suffering abuse for as long asDSCN1175 women and men have been getting together and having children.

Life turns around and we don’t even know how. One day we are fine, we have all our cards in our hands, we believe the rest of our lives will be just like they were up to now. But suddenly there is a turn and then other, and even another one, and then we feel lost. We don’t know what to do any more, what was right is left and what we used to like is hurting us. The truth is that the only thing that we can trust in life is that it will change, but we forget. We plan the rest of our lives like if we knew what lies ahead, but we are shown, time and time again that we should not take anything for granted.

And oh well, we find out that life changes and that we have to adapt, but how do we make mayor changes when we are not ready, because we never are. We get disoriented as we think that it could not happen to us, our spouse will not turn on us, our lives are guaranteed to stay as we planed them. . Those things happen to other people, not us. We are too full of ourselves, not really understanding that we are at the mercy of the elements.

And one month turns in to another and a year in to the next, all this can go for a long time before we realize what is going on. Finally there will be a catharsis, a climax that turns the tables. For many women is the first time that the abuse turns in to violence, for others is their family when they finally find out, and still for others is fear for their children, that they may get hurt, that they may grow up to find all this as natural or heavily traumatized.

Women get out of terrible situations and get ahead; sometimes it takes years to get their heads above the water once again. It is not an easy task, to deal with the divorce, the loneliness and the prospect of a future without the person that one day, not too long ago, was the center of their lives. And then is the matter of dealing with a family of by themselves, with the expenses and the job, the problems, children and day care; but most of all the shame. Many women have a really hard time dealing with the fact that their spouses abused them, that they have a failed marriage. What are their families going to think about them? How could their judgment be so skew?

The truth is that none of that is needed. There are myriads of reasons why people abuse others, and none of them are the fault of the abused, but still, that is part of the mourning, part of the suffering that the victim feels, once again being victimized.

Fortunately there are more and more women getting ahead with their lives after traumatic experiences, as there is more awareness, more services and more education about the matter. October is the month for domestic violence awareness, one of the many ways that we as a society have placed for people’s education, for this problem to go away, so no more women need to go through the anguish of not knowing what to do and the shame of having to undo their lives so they can keep on living, and to honor this social awareness effort we like to contribute with a program dedicated to all the women that have suffered and are suffering at the hands of their spouses.

I don’t want anybody to think that I believe that all man are abusers, not by far, but some are and they do a lot of damage, to their spouses, their children and themselves.  And I don’t want to indicate that it is only men that abuse women. Some women abuse men as well. Abuse is not only physical violence; it can take many forms, including sexual abuse, verbal abuse, coercion and control. 

 

To give help us understand the issue and make us further conscientious of the matter we have invited Rhachelle Nicol, a brave woman that went through really hard times to come the other way with flying colors. After she won her own personal battles,  feeling that she had to help others Rhachelle is currently working on a project to bring awareness, education and support to women in trouble.

Please join us this coming Tuesday October 22nd at 8 PM PST to welcome Rhacelle Nicole to our show, you will be surprised and delighted with this highly energetic women, we are delighted to have her with us.

The Land of The Brave

We had a great wrap up show for the IRP6 case series. Yolanda is a magnificent woman; you can hear the W
dignity on her voice. She was poised and to the point, sure of what she was saying, safe and measured in her words.

Yolanda talked about her son and her husband with such self-assurance, such self-control. You could hear in the back of her voice, like an after taste, that she is hurt, but you didn’t hear her say it. You could feel that there are sleepless nights in her eyes, worrying about her family, her husband, her son Kyle’s health and emotional wellbeing, but she kept her composure through the whole interview, just pointing out her situation; but mostly talking about her husband, her son and her faith in God that all this ordeal will be over one day, that they will be together and happy one day, not too far from now. She was really vocal, and very intent on letting us all know that her son is a normal young man, with interests and activities proper of his age. He just has a trouble with seizures, an issue quite common with growing boys, which is usually outgrown by the time they reach adulthood. Unfortunately, in Kyle’s case, he had a terrible stressor starting at the age of 14, when his father started being unjustly investigated. That issue, together with the normal worries and stresses associated with growing up, have made the situation stretch till the present day, as Kyle is prone to have seizures circa his visitations to his father. It seems to be totally unfair that he looses his father when he needs him the most; it is a bad place to be for a young man. At a time where he should be learning to be a man from his father, he is dreading the time that he can spend with him. The stress caused by having to see him in prison is too much for Kyle to be able to stand with a calm spirit, his joy spoiled by a sickness that has been refueled by his family’s present situation. What a shame, a young man suffering emotionally, psychologically, and physically in such a way, and to such intensity that his body is rebelling and loosing control over the situation. Kyle is calm apparently, always with a smile on his face, but somehow his stress comes out and manifests itself as seizures.

As with the other cases, we were left with a bittersweet taste in our mouths. We are impressed with these women’s fortitude and with these children resilience, but is all this pain really necessary? All this trouble could be relieved with a case review, with a second look at the evidence and a fair trial, in which all information is transparent and clear procedures. Would it make more sense to straighten out this terrible mess?

All this has been hard to report, but very rewarding; an injustice after another; women left behind, children suffering and abandoned. A system that is failing us all, not just the families involved in the IRP6 case. These children are the future of this country and these women are the mentors that educate them. When we allow injustice to prevail in a society we allow for corruption and ultimately we allow for degradation and shame.

Are we to stand quiet when the future of this country is compromised? We have heard terrible stories these past episodes, we have grinded our teeth, grieved and cried with these women, but what I felt the most is a sense of loss. A sense that we are loosing our humanity when we allow for injustice to go on; when we allow women and children to suffer needlessly; when we look at the pain of others with indifference. Are we really the land of the brave?

To get additional information and another point of view, visit Danica’s blog at http://nica2013blog.wordpress.com/

Children of Grief

Tuesday will be our final show for the IRP6 case series, and for the wrap up show we have a very special DSCN1228guest, Yolanda Walker. Yolanda, just like the other wives, is putting all her efforts in having their husbands’ freed and their names cleared. She is a stay home mum. She cares for their son Kyle who is suffering from seizures since a very young age and that in itself is a full time job, very stressful and with a lot of responsibility. Caring for a child with seizures is  best done with the help of a partner or other care taker, as the watch has to go on 24 hours a day, there is not really a moment of rest and let down. She is not able to take brakes on the care, it is all on her for now. Yolanda has been doing it all through the past year and a half, it is all her responsibility for now.

Kyle has always been very attached to his parents and had never spent a night away from them until his father, Gary went to prison; he misses his father tremendously.

Kyle has been having a really hard time since the whole problem with the IRP6 case started, he is a very sensitive child and the tension and stress of the situation have made his seizures a lot more intense and a lot more frequent; his health and emotional state are very affected by the ordeal; it is a really bad situation.

And even though Gary is a good father and he is involved in the family life as much as he can, making decisions with Yolanda and giving Kyle the special love that he needs, he is not there to give the child the time and support that he needs. Yolanda has to cope with it all. The family life, the special needs and attention, the errands and visits to Gary. She is doing all she can, she tries to be a father and a mother to Kyle, setting example and caring for him, but it is frustrating to see her son suffering so much, most of all because is not fair. It is not fair that he doesn’t have his father at home with him to reassure him and help him with his troubles.

Yolanda is a woman of few words, but she will be telling us what it has been like to take care of it all, what her feelings are and how she deals with it.

Please join us in welcoming Yolanda Walker. Tune in Tuesday October 1st at 8 PM PST http://www.blogtalkradio.com/captivating-chats/2013/10/02/children-of-grief or call  (347) 637-3317 Get there early, as queue is limited and bring your inquires with you, we will be taking questions from the chat and the phone lines.

To read more about this week’s show please visit Danica’s blog http://nica2013blog.wordpress.com

A Better Understanding

Tesia was a great guest, calm, collected, sure of herself and to the point. She has a lot to say about what is going on in her life, with her husband and with the other men in the case.0924130749

In many ways Tesia has given us a better understanding of what went on regarding the IRP6 case. We had talked to the other ladies regarding their specific problems, with their husbands, their family life, and children, and how life had changed so much from their perspective. Tesia had the opportunity and willingness to share with us the whole story, from the beginning. What went on and how they lived through it at the time. She gave us an account of the facts and how they were being unveiled, the uncertainty and incredulity all mixed together, right in front of their eyes; how they could not believe what was being revealed, how their lives were being implicated in a situation that they didn’t comprehend, as it was not of their doing.

She talked about getting right in to the issues, getting documented and educated to be able to best help her husband and the other men. How the process took a long time to evolve, and how, in the last minute, right at sentencing, it finally downed on to her. He was going to be put away; her husband was really going to go to prison. A man that she believed in, and had decided to spend the rest of her life with, was going to go away for quite some time.

You could hear the impotence in her voice, but also the hope. She knows that he is innocent, and she is dedicating all her spare time to support him, along with other families and the blessing of her church.

She talked long and clear, never backing out on her word. Once an Air Force supporter and graduate, she talked openly about feeling let down, not trusting the institutions. Those institutions that were her inspiration and her life for such a long time, now stand shady, in the doubtful side of life, in the not so trusting part of her spirit.

She is courageous, and she stands for her believes, for her values and her love. She is a trusting woman that will never trust again in the American dream. Her life was shattered and she is out there, in the world, denouncing the perpetrators, the very same administration that took her life, her dream, her husband away. Injustice has changed her views but not her values. Tesia still stands for honesty and valor, for love and faith, and in her own words, those values are keeping her sanity and her hope alive.

Next week we will have the last show of our IRP6 series. Yolanda Walker will join us to talk to us about her son Kyle, and how the absence of his father and the stress surrounding his life at this time, has made his health brittle, to the point of being life threatening at times. We are anticipating a great show once again.

For more information visit Danica’s blog http://nica2013blog.wordpress.com/

Good Parents No Matter what

What an amazing show! It was emotional and intense; we were all in tears with Tasha’s story. She is a greatgrilgraffiti example of courage and will, dealing with her everyday life as well as she can, normalizing her children’s life to the best of her ability; drawing courage from her pain, and valor from her tears. She told us the children’s story, how they are affected by the events, and how it is harder for them as they are totally aware that this is an injustice; at least Kayla. Braylon just knows that he misses his dad, that it is not right that he doesn’t get to go home with them at night, courageous little man, in his innocence he was willing to smuggle his father out of prison under the blanket that he brought specially for that.

The pain has to be wearing, daunting, but the love prevails. This woman was able to convey her hope and her caring, the deep rooted believe that God will allow and help them get together again; because she feels that it is right, because she feels that they are right; they are good people, working for the future of their children, under the benevolent sight of God and with the support of their church.

Tasha told us about Kayla’s health, issues that appear due to the stress of her father’s imprisonment, and her support group. How the teachers and some of her classmates are helping make this more bearable, how the institution is being supporting as well. Within their sorrow they are blessed. The community is behind them, giving them courage; that tells me right there they are speaking the truth. They are not having anyone around them making them feel that this is due punishment, that their Demetrius should be in prison. The whole community is appalled and praying for his release, supporting the family, offering relief.

Life is going on for Tasha, and although she misses her husband she keeps going on. The children miss their father also; she does her best to fill the emptiness that he has left behind. She normalizes their children’s life by taking them places, by minimizing the difference on their life style. But it is hard; he is not there, he can’t go home at night. The whole family is dependent on Demetrius, they love him, they cherish and respect him, and Tasha has found ways to make him a part of the children’s life. Even though he is not at home physically, he is there in spirit and care, he is participant of this Kayla and Braylon’s life, making decisions on their future, counseling them and keeping the team that he started with Tasha the day they got married.

They all go see Demetrius, but life is not the same; there is little spontaneity when your time with your dad is supervised, when you only get to see him once a week. But they make the best out of it, and grandpa takes the kids of Friday, so they can have special time with their dad. They are a team, they support each other, and they are all an example of what we should all do when disgrace strike, how we should treat one another when life is not looking up, but looking down at our sad shadow.

Life has changed a lot for this family, they are all feeling the loss and the pain, but they have hope and they have faith. They are teaching us a lesson in courage, and I truly believe that they will get their life back, that they will be reunited and happy. They work real hard to make it happen, they have a just cause; it is only right, it is only fair.

Once again I would like to share the video done by the children, I believe that their words illustrate better than anything else what is going on here. How much people are hurting due to an injustice, how these children are facing unbearable pain due to a mistake.  Through their words we see that they are well guided and taught that love prevails, we see the effort that they all make to forget and forgive, to believe that this nightmare will end one day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch/?v=M9AVrCSQK3I

I am hoping that you will take a few minutes and watch it, it is a true testimony of courage and hope, showing young souls at their best, beautiful children brought to sorrow by a system that should be teaching them justice.

Next week we will welcome Tesia Barnes, talking to us in depth about what is happening to their families, how their lives have been affected and how they live the change

Onward and Upward

And we did something about it and it felt great.  To hear Jessica share her story was insightful0419131209 and to see her excitement was priceless. But what was totally amazing was the immediate response from you, our audience. Thank you very much for listening my friends; it was a total success.

Many people had listened to the show and everybody wanted to congratulate Jessica for her courage and her testimony. Some of our listeners were able to offer Jessica help with her project, so I feel that we accomplished a lot.

I would like to thank Jessica Lynn Solsona once again for her time and her willingness to share her story, her experience enriched us all and hopefully her testimony will shed some hope in to people’s hearts. Thanks to people like Jessica we have hope and we have awareness regarding the abuse problem. It was a wonderful experience for all of us.

Once again we see that together we can make a difference. Jessica is set on a project to raise awareness. She is working hard to make a difference for other women and children that may be in a similar situation. She is very motivated to make this project work and we were very happy to be able to help.

Please take a listen here if you missed us:  http://www.blogtalkradio.com/captivating-chats/2013/07/31/special-guest-jessica-lynn-solsona

 

You can follow Jessica on Twitter here @lynnsolsona

And you can visit her at  http://www.inspire-the-world.net/my-story/  and about.me/solsonajessica

 

Next week we will have another fascinating topic, nonetheless important and intense. Please help us welcome Toni Ingram, she will be sharing with us the story of her daughter being stalked. Tony has been working to raise awareness on the seriousness of such situations