Healing Oneself by Healing Others

Denise was a treat; open, candid, caring; with great respect and compassion she gave us a picture of denisechildwhat happens in to the life of those who suffer; she was able to transmit to us a reality that could hardly be ignored, a past that doesn’t go away till it is looked at it in the face, till it is accepted and embraced, out in the open so we are able to let go, to let be. The kind of past that needs to be acknowledged and embraced, talked about and brought to light so it can heal, blending with today’s safe memories.

Having been molested, Denise went through very hard times, detached from reality, denying her pain, she went trough life with a tremendous secret, sorrow and shame that was eating her inside. During all those years of silence, the abuse that had happened was still a negative force inside of Denise, burning, breaking, hurting, as coals stay lit and hot, her memories, her secret, were still living inside of her, bringing shame and confusion, depression and destructive patterns.

Denise new she had to do something, so she set herself up to help others. Volunteering for charities and support organizations was a great beginning for Denise, giving her a sense of accomplishment, community, healing; but mostly opening up in her the desire to talk, bringing the strength from inside to start sharing her story with a few of the victims she helped, giving them hope and courage with her experiences, with her lead and example.  Denise realized she needed to tell her story to others, if a story going to heal others has to be told; and as an unexpected bonus, Denise started her own healing by sharing, by trusting again, but opening up here heart and allowing for redemption, for understanding and compassion; for a new life, really, full of dreams and goals, feeling safe and secure, and feeling useful, helping other teens in trouble overcome their problems and bring light in to their own lives. Isn’t that a something? When we set out to help others we end up helping ourselves the most. So this way Denise realized that the best way to help herself and help others was to keep on coming forward, to be open and supportive; to be strong for herself and others, but mostly for that brave little girl, Denise, that endured all that pain and suffering, all that shame and isolation out of love for her mother and the promise of a “normal” family.

Denise started writing and a has a great blog, you can read some of her work here http://bnewvision.wordpress.com/

She has also produced an amazing video of her experience and healing process http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r66Ov2_jKsI&feature=youtu.be

This project is allowed Denise to admit to her pain, remove the shame opening a whole new avenue of possibilities, compassion, love, understanding, support and hope. Denise has been able to free herself from her chains, gathering the strength and courage to help others.

Today Denise, although has a long way to go, a whole life time of healing, is a much happier woman, that stands up for herself, not ashamed to be a victim, but proud to be a survivor.

You can listen to the archive of her interview http://www.blogtalkradio.com/becausewomenareamazing/2014/01/08/children-are-precious



Strong And Trusting

Tuesday night show was a great show. We had Ethel back, but this time she brought her very good friend pinkcameliaEsther Banks. Esther is the wife of one of the IRP6 inmates, and she is a remarkable lady. We had the chance to ask her many questions, as she was very concise on her answers. She didn’t splurge with words, but she transmitted such self-assurance, such personal peace. She talked about her husband and her situation, what she is doing with her life and her family while they are waiting for her husband’s name to be cleared. Although you could hear the pain in her voice, the firmness in her voice spoke of fortitude faith and assurance. She talked with faith and hope for the future, there was not a doubt in her mind that he will get released before term, that soon they will be reunited and they will be able to get on with their lives. She talked about being alone, and having to deal with her family life, plus supporting the distressful situation they are facing. She didn’t talk about being alone though. All her decisions, all her everyday life situations are talked over with her husband, as they are keeping the family together, not matter what.  He has been wrongfully condemned, and he is in prison, waiting for his name to be cleared out, but in the mean time she is not just waiting, she is working on their future, being a role model to her daughter and a good loving wife and friend.

She has time to work in the IRP6 case, meet with the rest of the wives, visit and support her husband, support and run her household, while going full time to school. She trusts in herself and her husband, but most of all in God. I think that the key to her positive attitude resides in the knowledge that everything will be ok, that while she is busy working on her future, her friends, and God Himself are doing the work so everything clears out. She is a trusting, hardworking woman; she is somebody to look up to. We asked her how she dealt with her everyday life and with her husband’s absence, and her answer was concise. She keeps busy, positive and trusting her believes. She is strong and steady, loyal and very proud of her family. She is the wife that every man in trouble owe to have.

Next week we will have one more testimony from this case. Tasha Harper, Demetrius Harper’s wife will join us to tell us about her tribulations regarding her children, as they grow up without a father at home, being the only parent to give them direct support.