It Could Happen To You Too

What kind of world are we living in when we allow injustice to hit the basic unit of our society? When we beautiful womenallow our families to be damaged by improper handling of unfairness? What kind of people are we to call ourselves civilized when we don’t take care of our own, let them go in to disgrace and don’t look back?

The IRP6 case is a fine example of this problem. Here we have 6 families destroyed by bureaucratic failure. By human error or negligence, I really don’t know, but the result is that this families are going through trying times and nobody is helping them. Yes, of course, their circle, friends and church members are supportive, but society is not. No major networks are making waves; no bureaucratic entity is supporting them and listening to their crying. And worst of all, most of us think that this is not our problem, we are not involved in this mess, how could we have something to do with it? Mostly, what can we do if bigger and better people are doing nothing about it? That is a terrible problem in society today, even worse than the injustice going on. The fact is that in today’s society we are so individualistic, so egotistic that unless a problem directly affects us, we want nothing to do with it.

Men being convicted unjustly bring a lot of issues to the table, to our society and truly affect each and every one of us. Not only the men get imprisoned, so do their families. Women and children are left behind, still free to come and go, but only relatively. They don’t have the right to be with their loved one, they don’t have the right to keep the team they started when they got married, they don’t have the right to have the financial and emotional support they were counting on when they decided to have a life in common with these men.

The whole family suffers a loss; they all get affected by this judgment in more ways than one. Las week we talked with Tasha Harper about what was happening to her children, how all this is affecting them and how they cope with the loss, and that is hard enough. But children are not the only ones getting affected. The whole family’s  life changes, the relationships, the values, quality time, priorities. The men are loosing the best years of their lives behind bars, and they don’t really know why, they didn’t do anything; their wives are loosing their lives while looking at them suffer, missing them, feeling the pain and the brunt of reality, suffering themselves as much as if they were imprisoned, if not more, as their situation is aggravated by abandonment and loneliness.

The wives go home to an empty living room, to sad and troubled children, to a life of financial hardships. They are the only breadwinners now, with no child support and no widow pension. They are left hanging in limbo, being punished for being, for something that neither them nor their husband’s did, doing a sentence for a crime that is not committed, or even defined. They are paying for injustice and that is all;, they are paying for us all; for all of us turning our backs on their reality, for all society living a life of disinterest to our fellow men and women. It is time that we stand up for one another, that we denounce injustice. We have a voice and we have to use it. We cannot look at this problem and decide that it is nothing to us; it can happen to all of us. No matter what we stand in life right now, it can change really fast.

To tell us about how her life was affected by the changes brought about through terrible events we have invited Tesia Barnes, Married to Kendrick Barnes, another one of the IRP6 wrongly convicted men. Please join us on giving Tesia a very warm welcome, being a quiet woman, Tesia is making a big effort to come and talk to us about her experience, and we truly appreciate her willingness to share with us her testimony.

We will be on air, Tuesday September 24th, at 8 PM PST

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/captivating-chats/2013/09/25/life-during-trauma-the-untold-story

For more information also visit http://nica2013blog.wordpress.com/

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Good Parents No Matter what

What an amazing show! It was emotional and intense; we were all in tears with Tasha’s story. She is a greatgrilgraffiti example of courage and will, dealing with her everyday life as well as she can, normalizing her children’s life to the best of her ability; drawing courage from her pain, and valor from her tears. She told us the children’s story, how they are affected by the events, and how it is harder for them as they are totally aware that this is an injustice; at least Kayla. Braylon just knows that he misses his dad, that it is not right that he doesn’t get to go home with them at night, courageous little man, in his innocence he was willing to smuggle his father out of prison under the blanket that he brought specially for that.

The pain has to be wearing, daunting, but the love prevails. This woman was able to convey her hope and her caring, the deep rooted believe that God will allow and help them get together again; because she feels that it is right, because she feels that they are right; they are good people, working for the future of their children, under the benevolent sight of God and with the support of their church.

Tasha told us about Kayla’s health, issues that appear due to the stress of her father’s imprisonment, and her support group. How the teachers and some of her classmates are helping make this more bearable, how the institution is being supporting as well. Within their sorrow they are blessed. The community is behind them, giving them courage; that tells me right there they are speaking the truth. They are not having anyone around them making them feel that this is due punishment, that their Demetrius should be in prison. The whole community is appalled and praying for his release, supporting the family, offering relief.

Life is going on for Tasha, and although she misses her husband she keeps going on. The children miss their father also; she does her best to fill the emptiness that he has left behind. She normalizes their children’s life by taking them places, by minimizing the difference on their life style. But it is hard; he is not there, he can’t go home at night. The whole family is dependent on Demetrius, they love him, they cherish and respect him, and Tasha has found ways to make him a part of the children’s life. Even though he is not at home physically, he is there in spirit and care, he is participant of this Kayla and Braylon’s life, making decisions on their future, counseling them and keeping the team that he started with Tasha the day they got married.

They all go see Demetrius, but life is not the same; there is little spontaneity when your time with your dad is supervised, when you only get to see him once a week. But they make the best out of it, and grandpa takes the kids of Friday, so they can have special time with their dad. They are a team, they support each other, and they are all an example of what we should all do when disgrace strike, how we should treat one another when life is not looking up, but looking down at our sad shadow.

Life has changed a lot for this family, they are all feeling the loss and the pain, but they have hope and they have faith. They are teaching us a lesson in courage, and I truly believe that they will get their life back, that they will be reunited and happy. They work real hard to make it happen, they have a just cause; it is only right, it is only fair.

Once again I would like to share the video done by the children, I believe that their words illustrate better than anything else what is going on here. How much people are hurting due to an injustice, how these children are facing unbearable pain due to a mistake.  Through their words we see that they are well guided and taught that love prevails, we see the effort that they all make to forget and forgive, to believe that this nightmare will end one day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch/?v=M9AVrCSQK3I

I am hoping that you will take a few minutes and watch it, it is a true testimony of courage and hope, showing young souls at their best, beautiful children brought to sorrow by a system that should be teaching them justice.

Next week we will welcome Tesia Barnes, talking to us in depth about what is happening to their families, how their lives have been affected and how they live the change

And What About The Children

We talk about the women left behind, but what about the children? How do they cope with loss and Untitledabandonment, the loneliness, the lost years? No one should have to deal with this kind of injustice, but least of all the younger ones.

The women have had a set back, they made a commitment for life, and society has cut their hopes short. They have been let down and thrown in to the void of loneliness. But we as adults can rationalize, we can think that things will get better and work towards it. I am not saying that it is easy, it is still very hard, but an adult has more tools to deal with pain and suffering, with injustice. Children are supposed to be promoted and supported; not be hurt by the system, but educated and edified. In some instances, it is the parents that abandon and abuse the children, that is awful, totally regrettable; and then the system is supposed to come in and intervene, taking them away from a toxic family environment and protecting them. We all know that that is not the best case scenario, we know that the system is not all that is cracked up to be, but that is the morals behind child services, protection of children; with all it shortcomings, after all, a way of keeping the little ones from further damage.

This is beyond what we have ever learned about our society’s shortcomings. Here we have hard working, loving, law abiding men, starting and supporting happy families; we have wives and children that are happy together, building a future for themselves, and then disgrace strikes. And no to the fault of the men, or even the family; all this is to be blamed in to injustice reining in our culture, in the heart of American families, and it is carrying on way too long.

It has been over a year since these children have their fathers at home, since they miss their love and guidance, their company and support. It has been over a year since this men have had a chance to reassure their children, walk them through troubles, as they are looking in to troubles right on the face.

These children are being robed of their innocence, their trust in society and human kind; what future are we building for them, for society for that matter? They are the pillars of tomorrow, why should we make them feel like there is no hope, no justice in the world? But these children are rightly guided and shown that love will conquer all. They are taught right from wrong and reassured by their fathers and mothers that only working hard and being righteous will win the day. And even though they still struggle to do the right thing, to forgive and forget; you can see that they are guided by their support circle and family towards patience and love, towards a just system and a just outcome. They just want to have their father at home, to be their model for life, to be their guiding light

I am sharing with you the testimony of these children as they are portrayed in an interview at their church. https://www.youtube.com/watch/?v=M9AVrCSQK3I

They are of different ages, all of them with their own idiosyncrasies, their own issues regarding their loss. They are candid and kind; you see the pain on their eyes and the fortitude on their smiles. They are talking about loss but they are still hopeful and strong. They want more than anything in the world to have their fathers back, they believe on their innocence, they know them to be good men, good fathers, and the world to them. What can you tell a child when their father goes away, furthermore, what can you tell them when the same institutions that are supposed to protect them are the ones taking their fathers, hurting them, abandoning them, shortchanging them and abusing their trust and childhood innocence.

To illustrate this point, and help us understand the problems surrounding the children and to give us testimony of what is means to reassure your children when you yourself are loosing faith in society, we have invited Tasha Harper, Demetrius Harper’s wife and mother of 16 years old Kayla and 8 years old Braylon, each of them with the issues typical of their age group and aggravated by their father’s absence.

Please join us to welcome our guest and her powerful testimony, this Tuesday September 17th at 8PM PST. We love your company and support

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/captivating-chats/2013/09/18/and-what-about-the-children

Please visit Danica’s Blog, http://nica2013blog.wordpress.com/

she has a lot to say about this topic and many others, she will enlighten and inspire you as she is a very conscientious woman, full of life and wisdom