The Ultimate Agony

What takes someone to want to commit suicide? Many of us have had hard times in life, and have felt at the end of the rope. But it is human nature to want to believe, to have hope and trust that tomorrow, or even, the day after DSCN0109smtomorrow, will be a better day. We spend our lives hoping that a better time arrives and that we will be rid of all our problems, well, at least a few of them. And we strive and work at making it better.

A few choose to end it all, to take action and end the pain.

Is the pain too much to handle? Are there any other factors that influence the decision?

Nobody ends their life willingly when they are happy and fulfilled. In most instances, the pain has been felt and endured for a long time, too long. There has been despair and depression, whether their loved ones can see it or not. At times the depression goes undetected and the suicide attempt, whether successful or not, comes as a surprise to those that surround the victim.

I call it victim, as I think that anybody that attempts against his or her own life is a victim. Victim of the circumstances, problems or even themselves; suffering so deeply that they feel their only hope is to end their life, and therefore the pain. Some find the attempt futile, as in this society suicide has been stigmatized to the point that those that end their life, or attempt to, are chastised and shun. If successful, they are believed to end up suffering eternally at the mercy of a God that condemns attempting against one’s life. People that attempt suicide are condemned by society and, many think, will be condemned by their God. No way out, really. By leaving the stage, your pain and condemnation will be further still.

In order to make the decision to take their own lives, they have to suffer enough that nothing, not even eternal damnation is enough to stop them. That sounds like a very deep pain if you ask me.

What happens when one commits suicide? We don’t know what happens to them if they succeed, as we have not a clue of what goes on in the other life. Why are we so quick to judge them then? And what happens to those that attempt it and fail? Staying alive can be considered a failure in this case as not only the person is not able to fulfill their wishes; they have a whole society to let them know what a terrible kind of person they are. So many contradictions and pain, so much fear; punishing those in pain, beating the fallen.

We are so afraid of sadness and more so of loosing our own lives that we loose respect for other’s pain, for their decisions and privacy.

And after all, what are we discussing when we discuss suicide? Are we talking about the consequences or the problem? The problem is depression and despair, that disease that nobody talks about, almost as stigmatized as suicide itself. Nobody wants to admit that it is a real sickness, so much so that we joke about it all the time, we use the term lightly and we ignore those that are going through it: “Cheer up! Would you?”

At the end depressed people have lost a will to live, a reputation and, are faced with a dead end.

To help us understand what can drive an human being to suicide, and what are the challenges of the survivors, I have invited Michelle, a suicide survivor, that takes life lightly in her concern for others. Please Join us Tuesday September 9th at 8 PM PST for a night of insights and awareness


Left Behind

Last week we talked with Ethel, a fiery woman that is fighting for a cause that she truly believes in. Her 0419131209achurch’s family has been hurt and she will not stand for it.

She told us about six men of her close acquaintance that are imprisoned right now with a very weak accusation and sentencing. She is convinced that they are innocent and she has set out to prove the system wrong We find that it is not an isolated case, and that the trend of over-criminalization that is occurring in the United States is taking our rights away, and  may be taking over all of our lives; not just the lives of this people that have been convicted, but anybody’s, as there are more and more cases of abuse of power, and corruption in the judiciary process.

All this is terrible and we were very proud to be able to give Ethel a hand on her denouncing of the case. But we couldn’t leave it at that. We found out about the wives, the women that stay behind and keep the family together, as best they can, and how hardship, on top of shame, have been brought to their lives.

What happens when you are left alone to fend for yourself with children and all the acquired obligations, but no help at all? These men have been imprisoned, they have lost their rights, and their family has lost their rights also. They have lost the right to have a loving husband and father, the right to feel safe in their own home, and the right to stand proud in the eyes of many people. Shame and disgrace goes a long ways. Once your reputation has been tainted it is really hard to go back. Many wrongs will stay wrong, as society will always see convicts as convicts, no matter if they have been exonerated. Your family and friends will never condemn them; society will never again forgive them. Regardless of the verdict, once behind bars, they are a tainted person for all, them and their families will suffer the consequences for as long as they live. It is a personal loss for all of them, and it is also financial and emotional hardship, it is public shame and disgrace; it is too hard of a burden to be explained by words.

We had to give these women a voice. And we are doing just that. This week we will have a great woman, one of these men’s wives, to tell us about what it is like to be left behind, not by your husband, not by neglect, but by the very same system that is supposed to protect you, to keep you from harm

Please join us Tuesday Sept 10th at 8 PM PST to talk about being left behind and help us welcome Esther Banks who will talk to us about her experience, giving us her testimony